Frequently Asked Questions

 

10. Sometimes I think I'm still very much in love with the man who abused me. Is that crazy? Or maybe a sign that it really wasn't abuse?

No, it‘s common. Mixed feelings are a part of the majority of abuse episodes. They are also a part of the collusion confusion. We very much love the people we trust. When they betray us, we cannot immediately discount all of the good feelings we feel or have felt toward them. In fact, that’s what often keeps survivors quiet and further confuses them.

It’s also what makes many colluders behave inappropriately. See the article on Treatment for more information.


This article, like all at www.takecourage.org is copyrighted by the author. Other writers, by copyright law, may use up to 300 words in other published works without asking permission, provided the author is given full credit. This also applies to the acronym "DIM Thinking," a term coined by Miller. You may download and/or distribute copies of any of these articles, for educational purposes, PROVIDED the pages are distributed without alteration, including this copyright statement.

www.takecourage.org by Dee Ann Miller, author of How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct and The Truth about Malarkey.