No, it‘s common. Mixed feelings are a part of the majority of abuse episodes. They are also a part of the collusion confusion. We very much love the people we trust. When they betray us, we cannot immediately discount all of the good feelings we feel or have felt toward them. In fact, that’s what often keeps survivors quiet and further confuses them.
It’s also what makes many colluders behave inappropriately. See the
article on Treatment for
more information.
Dee Ann Miller is the
author of Enlarging Boston's Spotlight: A Call for Courage, Integrity, and Institutional Transformation (2017) How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct (1993)
and
The Truth about Malarkey (2000)